Notice to All Associates:

The following can be found when Googling “retail death.”  Please review.

The Death of Retail

Politician Deaths in Retail Stores and Shops

Retail Death on Flickr!

External Links

Confidential                      Page 2

Store Mart Orientation Materials

The following articles should be thoroughly reviewed by the associate.  Following will be a mind-numbingly boring java-based exam with answers so common sense you’ll weep  for your wasted education.

Heather Ellis: A Bad Customer Put in Her Place, or a Bad System at Work?

An editorial about the Heather Ellis case, complete with hypothetical commentary for the newly released security footage.

Ten Secrets Kept by Retail Associates

Things you never knew, never realized, or just never wanted to know about your retail shopping experience.

Customer Classification: Four Types of Retail Customers

How to spot different types of customers, and how to get rid of them as quickly as possible (with the most amount of smug satisfaction).

United States Attempts to Return Louisiana Purchase, Has No Receipt

The United States experiences buyer’s remorse, but France has rigid store policies.

Confidential                      Page 1

Store Mart Orientation Materials

   New Sales Associates are exected to review the following materials.  These materials will assist in training you for the challenging duties of a retail sales associate, and help prepare you for the rewarding retail career that lies ahead!

  The following websites contain valuable information regarding your new position:

To: bill.johnson@storemart.com

From: hombrezack@gmail.com

Subj: lol

Dude check out these comix from tha intert00bz so true lol

Toothpaste for Dinner

Penny Arcade

Wondermark

- z

Retail Hell Underground

This retail horror blog by Freeman Hall will give you a clearer picture of what can be expected in your position as sales associate. Information can be found here regarding customers, management, and the company’s overall expectations of you as an associate.

People of W**-M***

In order to better serve our customers, it is vital that you, as an associate, learn more about the people who frequent our store. This website contains valuable information about our customer base, their buying habits, and who they are as people.    

Realistic Retail

To keep up with the trend of online social media, the company has implemented an “internet forum” for discussion of retail-related issues.  This message board, operated and moderated by a third party partner of the company, is not to be used during shift hours (but is mandatory).